Degenerate Dating Drama

Wanted.  Someone who gets (or at least can put up with) the life of a poker grinder, but doesn't have a gambling problem.  

In the past week two separate people have asked me when I'm going to start dating, and it's devolved into a conversation about my life and relationships.

Post-divorce and post....whatever-the-hell-that-was, I've done a lot of thinking about this.  It's some thinking I probably should have done two years ago...or more like ten years ago.  I've realized a few pitfalls I've fallen into in the past and I'm determined not to fall in again.  It's been good. 

Most people are really shocked to discover I'm actually a shy person around people I don't know that well.  I suffer from really bad social anxiety in new situations. 

Needless to say, I've never been one to date a ton.  I got married when I was 22 (divorced at 29).  A friend has been trying to get me to do the online dating thing, but I don't know how ready I am to jump into something like that.  Scary.

On top of this, a new problem has recently arisen.  The life of the single, female, degenerate.  Most guys I meet are poker players.  Hell, most people I meet these days are poker players.  I'm not *trying* to date a poker player...(comes with its own issues).  But...I don't know that I have other venues for meeting people.  I'm pretty busy between poker (i.e. work) and school.  I'm on a crazy schedule where I sleep most of the daylight hours away.  Meeting people while playing poker is like...hanging out with coworkers.  :p

Alternatively, most non-poker playing guys I know think it's AWESOME when they first meet me that I play poker to help with the bills.  They want to hear all about the WSOP events I've played in.  This fascination usually lasts only until they figure out that the life of a poker player is not like the bling blang blaow video, or whatever their idea is of professional poker playing.  Seriously, I think they all think it's me just hanging out rolling in money and having fun.  Like I'm Phil Ivey or something.  Anyone who's done low/mid stakes grinding knows that's not it AT ALL.

So after about a week or so, the FASCINATION with my lifestyle wears off and they get really fed up wondering why I'm always in AC (it's like going to the office, definitely not a 24 hour party), why I am never free on weekends (best time to make money), why I'm always asleep during the day...  They get jealous of what they THINK my lifestyle is.  Not to mention the complete and total difference in the way we view money (Yes, it's OK to get $300 in with 21 outs, but that doesn't mean I want to spend an extra $.50 on gas! It's DIFFERENT.)  I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to find someone who understands this lifestyle that isn't a poker player, let alone someone who can put up with it.  And poker isn't something I'm giving up anytime soon, though I would love to start dating again. 

It's lonely out here for a girl poker player.  

So yeah... Wanted.  Someone who gets the life of a poker grinder, but doesn't have a gambling problem.  Someone who gets that I will be in AC working a lot of the time.  Someone who understands why I go on tilt from time to time.  Someone who gets the difference between getting it all in with an OESFD and lighting money on fire on material shit.  On the other hand, someone who wants to watch movies, cuddle on the couch, and rock out to music with me, too. I promise I can talk about things other than poker (I'm actually quite well-rounded)...but it's always gonna be a big part of my life.

Comments

[billy]

can I fill out an application

[sirfwalgman]

Good luck to ya. I am anti-dating so I think you should just have fun with some friends.

[FkCoolers]

I'm not sure the happy medium is at all possible given how much work and table hours you need to commit to not only stay good at poker but earn enough to live comfortably.

The poker players with happy marriages or relationships are the rich ones. They can afford to take weeks off at a time because they've amassed over a year of living expenses and kept it tucked aside.

A low to mid-stakes grinder really has to choose between poker and a balanced social life and/or relationship. For me the choice is pretty clear. I don't want to reach old age and feel like I squandered years of my life make a modest amount of cash instead of going out, meeting people, etc.